The first time I met my then-future husband, he was no catch. Trust me. It was my first semester in college, August 1970. Most guys sported long Beatles-style hair cuts. But Doug sported a crew cut, of all things. I could have forgotten him had it not been for his smile. It was heart-stopping.
Within two hours I found out his name was Doug Davis, he was from a small town just outside Springfield, Ill., he had three brothers, and by divine coincidence (thank you, God!) his sister was in my dormitory prayer group. She shared that Doug had a crew cut because he had played the part of Lt. Joe Cable in “Tales of the South Pacific.” She said his rendition of “Younger Than Springtime” was very touching and brought tears to many an eye. So, acting, singing and a knock-out smile. Hmm!
Then, first day of second semester, God arranged for Doug and me to be in the same speech class. I walked in after he did and found the only unoccupied seat close to him was right behind him. I dove for it. Casually, of course.
Just above my head was a window that was allowing the sun to shine in the instructor’s eyes. “Miss Legg, would you please pull down the shade?” (Having the instructor use my last name was good. Hopefully Doug would remember it and look up my number in the campus directory.)
I reached up to pull down the blind and it would not budge. Doug turned around to help, and it just so happens we pulled on each corner at the same time. The blind came down, all right — on top of our heads. Dust and window brackets went flying everywhere. Doug was horrified, but I laughed. In complete disgust, he looked at me and said, “Look what you did. Nice one, Leggs.” Well, he almost got the name right!
Two weeks later, we had our first date. Two years later, we were married.
We’ve been married 39 years, we’ve raised two children, we spoil four grandchildren, we’ve lived in three states and served seven congregations. Throughout it all, Doug and I made one promise to each other, and I think that promise has made all the difference: We promised to love each other.
We determined to recognize that love is more than a feeling. It is a decision. Feelings change, but one can still decide to love. When we do something that drives each other nuts, we decide to love each other anyway rather than criticize and try to change each other. When one of us messes up and sins against the other, we decide to forgive and love each other anyway, rather than keep track of each other’s mistakes. When the going gets tough and we look for a way out, we decide to love each other anyway and wait for better times to come.
We have decided to love each other, no matter what. And it’s working! Maybe that’s why Doug’s smile still stops my heart.
Verna Davis, author and speaker, writes in Frankton. She can be reached at Vrdspeaks@yahoo.com.
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Verna Davis: Loyalty to love built a lasting marriage
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