PLAYA DEL REY, Calif. – It is nearly 2 a.m., and the night isn’t getting any darker.
A stone’s throw away from the Pacific, in a shack of a house I share with three other people, sleep does not come. Three years since my journey west, from the flatness of Indiana to the E-ticket ride of Los Angeles, I’ve wrapped up a master’s degree, gotten a job with a solid company and am lying in my bed, amid the fragrant flora and soothing warmth of the South Bay.
Yet my thoughts are of a small, disinfected room north of Anderson.
---------
Just before my departure in 1995, preparations made, enthusiasm high, the diagnosis was delivered. Loss of balance, slurred speech, addled thoughts, the symptoms were at last comprehensible.
Progressive supranuclear palsy, or PSP, is a distant cousin of Parkinson’s disease. Difficult to diagnose, it can be confused with many ailments. It moves quickly, ravaging the body, even of one who is strong and resolute.
Like my mom.
Here I was, mid-30s, mind dazzled with thoughts of Hollywood, and all of it disappeared into vapor in one second. Lois Richey, widow, mother, grandmother and indomitable force of nature, wouldn’t recover.
Obvious what had to be done. All three of my older brothers were married, had families. I was the oddball, the misfit, no responsibilities, no pull of family. It was why I could pack up and leave for the West Coast without any thought at all.
Any thought at all.
This would be my duty. I had always wondered what my purpose was, why I was here. The diagnosis had made that clear. I would stay and care for Mom.
It wasn’t as though I hadn’t any experience. When I was 7, my oldest brother, John, was crippled in a traffic accident. The middle two brothers, Mike and Jim, would soon be old enough to move out. I helped, as much as I could, with John. Wasn’t much, but it allowed Mom and Dad to get out of the house once in a while.
So I went to my brothers, each as different as kennel mutts, all working men with families and homes of their own. I was the oddball. The youngest. The spoiled one. The writer. They all had actual jobs. My main occupations were movies and books.
Therefore, I reassured them, I’d put away those childish things and take care of Mom in her final years. Not to worry. I’d be there.
And then, the oddest thing happened.
My brothers, each in his own, quiet way, informed me that they would beat the life out of me if I stayed.
That reaction, I wasn’t prepared for.
They wouldn’t elaborate much on why, but I kind of knew. I’d sacrificed parts of my adolescence to helping Mom. Now it was their turn. I’d just have to get used to the sunshine and ocean and palm trees, that’s all.
Over the years, my gratitude for that gesture could only grow. Such times unite people, help us brush aside our differences and sort things out together.
You don’t forget that easily.
------------
In the early morning gloom of Aug. 23, 1998, the call comes. No need to answer. Last night, as the phone was held up to Mom’s ear, I told her what I needed to tell her, and she had said the same to me.
So there is no surprise. After three years, why would there be? I make some noise going out to the kitchen, in the middle of the night. Wake up my roommates, who are irritated until they find out why.
I slump at the table, in sweat pants and T-shirt, a bottle of Coors Light in my hand. The lights of L.A. twinkle in the distance, and the sea breeze wafts in gently. I take a sip and toast what is, at once, one of the best and worst moments in my life.
It is nearly 2 a.m., and the night won’t be getting much darker.
Rodney Richey, columnist for The Herald Bulletin, can be reached by e-mail at rodney.richey@heraldbulletin.com.
Columns
Related Photos
-
Don Knight
Discussion
RODNEY RICHEY: On a sleepless night in 1998
- Columns
-
-
Emmett Dulaney: When Twitter backfires
Twitter, that innocuous social media tool that lets users send out 140 character snippets to their followers, is being used more and more as a marketing tool.
-
John Williams: Valentine tip from Social Security
Valentine’s Day is a popular time of year for proclamations of love. Such displays of affection can be as simple and sweet as a heart with a “be mine” message, or as life altering as a vow before the altar.
-
Scott Underwood: TV section alterations on the way
Two Sundays ago, The Herald Bulletin introduced a new product called Click, replacing the TV Week section. Like TV Week, Click includes TV listings grids, sports listings and Sudoku and crossword puzzles.
-
'Big Joe' Clark: The $100 million IRA - and how to get one
Is it possible to save $100 million? No, but it is possible to invest and end up with that sum of money. Mitt Romney is not alone; there are others with mega IRAs.
-
Analysis: Exceptional voice seemed lost in Houston's excessive fame
Whitney Houston’s numerous comeback attempts never gelled into anything the public cared about.
-
Brian Howey: Automotive factor explains why Obama opens Indiana office
On Thursday, the Obama for America campaign opened up an office in Indiana, a state with a century-old love affair with the internal combustion engine.
-
Maleah Stringer: Be truthful when filling out an application to adopt a pet
Animal shelters, humane societies and animal rescue groups across the country use adoption applications to screen applicants.
-
Jim Bailey: Plenty of sports celebrities have spoken in Anderson
Those who like to hear about their favorite sports from the horse’s mouth have had plenty of opportunities over the years in Anderson.
-
Howard Hewitt: Ivo Nardi of Italy leading organic push
Much of Europe is way ahead of the United States when it comes to the demand and supply of organic products.
-
Don McAllister: Dovetailing on a great column with a word on encouragement
Every day starts a new story, and this one tips its hat to a great column that recently appeared in The Herald Bulletin by Jesse Wilkerson where he emphasized the value of choosing one’s words.
- More Columns Headlines
-
Whitney Houston Funeral to Be Invitation Only
New Details in Search for Missing Utah Mom
Raw Video: Protesters, Security Clash in Bahrain
Obama: Good US-China Ties Help the Whole World
School Pays Students to Attend Class
Raw Video: Biden Greets Chinese VP for Visit
Raw Video: Heavy Shelling in Homs, Syria
Raw Video: 5 People Injured in Bangkok Blasts
Raw Video: Kim Jong Il Statue Unveiled
Trial Opens for Ala. Man in Bride's Diving Death
Baltimore's 'Crime Stopper' Is a Basketball Star
Raw Video: Hearse Arrives at N.J. Funeral Home
Authorities: Houston Found Underwater in Tub
Arm Wrestler Not Guilty Plea in Wife's Death
Raw Video: Houston Body Flown From L.A. to N.J.
First Person: Westminster Kennel Club Dog Show
Obama's New Budget: The Winners and Losers
Gregoire: Marriage Equality Is Right for Wash.
Bacteria Keep Swimmers Off Some Fla. Beaches
Sandusky Can See Grandkids, Have Local Jury
