Last Friday my husband, Seth, walked through our front door clutching a baby carrier in one hand, and dragging a bassinet with the other. The strap of a 20-pound diaper bag was sliding off his shoulder.
Our first grandson, Cayden Phillip, had arrived for his first visit. For helpless individuals with no muscle tone, babies certainly come with a lot of luggage.
Later in the evening (as all whopping 5 pounds of him snuggled in my arms) it occurred to me that there are a few differences between having kids and having grandkids.
And it seems that most of the differences are positive.
1. It doesn’t hurt to give birth to a grandbaby. That thought came to me as I sat comfortably on the couch holding the baby. With Cayden, I simply hung out at the hospital with my daughter-in-law Courtney, and a few hours later BAM! we had a little guy with some Timmons DNA. Giving birth to your own children is the equivalent of sitting on a grenade, and for about six weeks after the birth of my sons, I preferred my very special inflatable donut over my husband Seth.
2. Cayden Phillip is not particularly interested in my breasts, as they have no nutritional value. For the first year of their lives, my own sons saw me as a giant, squishy, ever-ready, pre-warmed bottle. I think their first word was a reference to that body part, rather than “momma.” Cayden looks at my face, and seems to genuinely like me, wrinkles and all.
3. Grandkids don’t keep you awake at night. I don’t even hear the little guy across the 20-mile chasm between us. I am not experiencing any noticeable fatigue, and I don’t appear haggard. My son, however, does appear exhausted and haggard, and it makes me appreciate the phrase “sweet revenge.”
4. You don’t actually reap what you sow with grandkids. Instead, their parents reap what you sow – so you can spoil them shamelessly and enjoy it.
5. I rarely smell like baby spit-up. Our trash is less than 1% dirty diapers.
6. Rocking my sons to sleep in the middle of the night was sometimes excruciating. Funny, it is a pleasure 100% of the time with the grandbaby ... it might be related to the frequency of the occurrence?
There are, of course, a few similarities between having kids and having grandkids.
You still have strong ideas about how they should be raised. Seth was prepared for that tendency, and purchased a muzzle for me before Cayden was born, which keeps my barking and snarling to a minimum.
You still worry about them, because in an extended sort of way, they are your own.
And above all, you can’t stop sniffing their little grapefruit-sized head, because you still love that baby smell.
Theresa Timmons’ column, “Home Delivery” appears every other Friday. She is an Elwood resident and can be reached at paperflinger40@yahoo.com.
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Theresa Timmons: Perks of grandmotherhood include 'sweet revenge'
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