Weeks have been spent in this space being sullen, venting spleen at evildoers.
At last, some well-deserved lunacy. It’s time for our occasional feature: making anagrams of famous figures, as well as local folks who just happened to get in our way. We apologize in advance.
Remember: These are totally random, done through software that generates anagrams. There is no intent here to defame innocent people. As far as you know.
First is our honored guest from last week, David Letterman. Of course, he’s been slogging through some problems, after a guy broke into his car and threatened to reveal evidence of Dave’s affairs. So maybe the magic anagram generator will brighten his spirits …
[TICKA TICKA TICKA] -- “Vandal Metered It.”
Hmmm. Makes no sense. Let’s try again.
[TICKA TICKA TICKA] -- And we have … “Traded Velamint”
[TICKA TICKA TICKA] -- “Damned Evil Tart.”
Well, seems the anagram generator is having some technical difficulties. Let’s try former Illinois Gov. Rod Blagojevich.
[TICKA TICKA TICKA] -- The winner is .,. “Job Gilder Havoc.”
Nope, not good.
[TICKA TICKA TICKA] -- The answer is … “Love God, Jab Rich.”
[TICKA TICKA TICKA] -- How about … “Crave Hi Gold Job.”
So, we’ll next try an anagram for that rascal Kanye West, who stepped all over teen sensation Taylor Swift on live TV. Spin the wheel, Scooter …
[TICKA TICKA TICKA] -- “Weeny Task.”
[TICKA TICKA TICKA] -- “Nasty Week.”
This is getting ridiculous. We’re going to perform some minor maintenance. Please enjoy some music.
“Tall and tan and young and lovely, the girl from Ipanema goes walking …”
OK, things seem to be better. Let’s go closer to home, and one of our nicest writers, Theresa Timmons.
[TICKA TICKA TICKA] -- “This Earnest Mom.”
That’s kind of sweet ...
[[TICKA TICKA TICKA] -- “Moisten Hamster.”
What???
[TICKA TICKA TICKA] -- “Hammertoe Snits.”
[TICKA TICKA TICKA] -- “Messiah Torment.”
Uh, let’s go national again. Maybe liberal wise guy Keith Olbermann?
[TICKA TICKA TICKA]
“Neon Milk Bather," “Beneath Norm Ilk," “Hornlike Batmen," “Lone Mink Breath.”
Machine’s gone rogue!
“Thin Lemon Baker," “Able Mint Honker," “No Blame Thinker," “Token Brain Helm.”
We’ve shut down the machine to prevent any more generations of people’s names. Like feature editor Scott L. Miley …
“Smelly Tic Toy," “Lit My Closet.”
Or our page designer Dax Lowery …
“Ye Word Lax," “Ex Yard Owl.”
All right! That’s enough! No more! Not another name! Not even my own!
“Coy Nerdy Hire," “Hey! Dire Crony," “He Decry Irony.”
Stop it!
Contact Rodney Richey, 640-4861, rodney.richey@heraldbulletin.com.
