OK, TV writers. Enough. You’re smarter than this. And the whole game is getting old.
Stop relying on serial killers as plot devices.
Look around. Read the newspapers. Ask Bill Kurtis, for crying out loud. There’s plenty of people committing stupid, heinous murders. Thousands. Every day. Prisons are so full, they kick some of these guys loose early.
So why is every promo for every police drama obsessed with how strange, ingenious and nervy its serial killer du jour is? There’s even a whole series, Showtime’s “Dexter,” whose hero is a serial killer.
Just last week, a commercial for CBS’ “Criminal Minds,” a show still pulling in the ratings, stooped quite low in advertising a fiend who pulled out — and kept — his victims’ eyeballs. There’s even a quick shot of a particularly nasty medical instrument getting ready to harvest a nice, juicy ocular orb.
What is the deal?
Most serial killers are drab, sad doofuses. Why do they get away with their crimes over the years? It’s not that they’re that smart.
I’ll show you: Pick a number between one and a million.
Police find it hard to track these guys without motive or rationale. Such killers are random and insane. That’s why killers grow transfixed with their M.O.’s, weapons and coded notes.
In their minds, this is what substitutes for having actual things to care about. Well, that and they’re about as stable as a meth addict with rabies.
Seriously, though, this stuff is way too easy. Observe:
Cop: “Two more bodies.”
Other cop:“ “Where?”
Cop: ““Stuffed in a mailbox.”
Other cop: ““Tidy. Cause of death?”
Cop: ““Deep fried.”
Other cop: ““That all?”
Cop: ““Gets better. Then they were tossed in a light vinaigrette and served with fish sticks.”
Other cop:“ “Gorton’s?”
Cop: ““Store brand.”
Other cop: ““Our boy’s getting lazy.”
See? To be sure, plots like this give troubled loners ideas. Copycats are nothing new.
But that’s not the main problem. It’s just so old. After watching “The Silence of the Lambs,” it was old. Now, after viewing actual video of the BTK Killer, Jeffrey Dahmer and real ghouls like that allocute to their crimes, it was lazy and insulting. The drastic escalation of methods on cop shows is just so much “me, too.”
Besides, Dahmer, BTK, Gacy, they’re all about as intriguing as a Kiwanis keynote address. There’s no side of serial killers that is interesting. They’re lonely, deranged creeps whose only joy is torture, solely to make themselves feel powerful. That’s not entertainment.
Unless the guy’s using pruning shears. Cool.
Contact Rodney Richey, 640-4861, rodney.richey@heraldbulletin.com. But don’t call from inside the house.
Columns
Related Photos
Discussion
Rodney Richey: Time to kill serial killer TV plots
- Columns
-
-
Verna Davis: Church and state — separation or silence?
It’s time we realize, as Charles J. Chaput says, that “exiling religion from civic debates separates government from morality...That road leads to politics without character.” It’s time we realize that it’s time to speak up. The future of our country depends on our doing just that.
-
Heather Bremer: Can Smith cash in on another Big Willie Weekend?
After yet another four-year break, Will Smith once again ventures into waters of the summertime box office with today’s debut of “Men in Black III.” Luckily for Big Willie, it’s the first weekend in ages that won’t be ruled by “The Avengers” … probably.
-
Susan Miller: Looking for a summer vacation vocation
Summer vacation is often a synonym for summer vocation, particularly for teenagers.
-
Jim Bailey: Amazing races keep things lively for family in May
Used to be when you spoke of a race in May, the Indianapolis 500 came to mind. For our family this year that will be an afterthought.
-
Primus Mootry: The Great Divide continues in the U.S.
Last Saturday, at a South Carolina GOP fundraiser attended by a thousand people, Sen. Marco Rubio, R-Fla., labeled President Barack Obama as the most “divisive figure in modern American history.” Sen. Rubio is certainly entitled to that opinion, but that’s all it is — an opinion.
-
Emmett Dulaney: Today’s actions hurt tomorrow
I have no recollection of why, but for some reason when we were kids my brother could not stand Catfish Hunter.
-
Bill Stanczykiewicz: Managing disagreements can be teens' gifts for Mom and Dad
New research suggests that teenagers who are allowed to disagree with their parents are more likely to resist negative peer pressure and avoid dangerous behaviors such as drug and alcohol use.
-
Scott Underwood: Good news plays role in journalism
The refrain from readers is almost constant in the careers of serious community journalists: You guys print too much bad news and ignore the good news.
-
Charo Boyd: Social Security serves wounded warriors, families
It’s an American tradition to pay tribute to the men and women of the Armed Forces each Memorial Day — especially honoring those who have made the ultimate sacrifice while serving our country.
-
Maureen Hayden: Readers say it best in response to column about primary
In a recent column, I posed a question about why only 19 percent of Indiana’s 4 million voters cast a ballot in the May primary. I promised not to chastise anyone who would ’fess up to not voting.
I’ll keep part of the promise: I won’t do the scolding, but will let someone else heap on a bit of shame. - More Columns Headlines
-
NJ Man Charged With Murder in Death of Patz
Support, Fun for Kids of Fallen Soldiers at Camp
Fugitive Penguin Caught, Returned to Aquarium
50 Years Later, Underground Fire Still Burning
Light Show Transforms Sydney Opera House
Raw Video: Unruly Passenger Restrained in Miami
Raw Video: Robber Uses Drive-thru Window
Raw Video: Dragon Arrives at Space Station
Calif.'s Coronado Named Nation's Best Beach
CEO Salaries Become Sore Issue in Labor Disputes
Raw Video: Fight Erupts in Ukrainian Parliament
Texan Ranchers Remain Wary of Drought
Raw Video: Soldiers Plant Flags at Arlington
Police: Man Arrested in Etan Patz Disappearance
NYC Protests: the Revolution Will Be Scripted
Chicago U.S. Attorney Fitzgerald Resigns
Neighbors of Etan Patz's Suspect: It's Shocking
Gulf Fishermen Reel From Seafood Troubles
Stuntman Makes Skydive Without Parachute in UK
Raw Video: Bride Who Faked Cancer Released
