ANDERSON — Necole Young-Boyd finally reached her breaking point.

After surviving childhood abuse, she endured another 20 years of abuse at the hand of her husband.

Finding no comfort in alcohol or drugs, she finally hit rock bottom and landed at Dove Harbor, a transitional shelter for women.

“I just got tired,” she said while sitting in the communal living room in what was once the North Anderson Church of God on Broadway. “You can only take so much. My life just got totally out of control. I knew I had to make a change or I was going to lose my life.”

Welcoming Young-Boyd into the fold, the staff at Dove Harbor began showing her how to regain control of her circumstances and her future.

“Before I came here, I didn’t know how to love myself,” she said. “All my life I felt like I was nobody. And had no direction. Here they teach us about God — that’s where most of my strength comes from.

“They taught me about love and how to choose healthy people in your life — because I was bad at doing that, too.”

Nine months later, on March 18, 2008, Young-Boyd graduated Dove Harbor’s program. By applying the lessons she learned during her stay, her life has been completely transformed into something wonderful.

“Now I don’t have any negative people in my life — they are all positive,” she said with a big smile. “I’ve grown up since I came here. I got remarried on Feb. 22 and I picked a good husband this time. He’s kind and supportive. He’s even dieting with me and he doesn’t need to lose weight. We’re just perfect for each other.”

Walking alongside

Dove Harbor is a women and children’s transitional shelter, which means clients are able to reside for six months to a year to allow them ample time to get back on their feet. Emergency shelters are only able to house women for 30 to 45 days.

Three members of Madison Park Church of God (then North Anderson Church of God), Kerrin Kahaleh, Susan Thomas and Susan Hall, began the mission in 1983.

Originally operating out of a home, the organization has now served more than 250 families. Madison Park continues to cover 40 percent of Dove Harbor’s costs, while fundraising efforts and donations comprise the rest.

“The women that began this effort were able to identify that it’s not needed for just one reason,” said Johnna Barnard, Director of Resource Development. “They realized that the women needed a time frame with someone walking along side them and making some changes. To make it where they are not cycling back into poverty and the emergency shelters, they really needed to make a long term change and needed a long term program.”

Some of the women are single mothers who just can’t make ends meet while others are escaping abusive situations. Some are fighting addictions and others are facing homelessness.

No matter what drives them to Dove Harbor, staff members are prepared to identify the individual’s problems and help them overcome them.

Group opportunities are required three nights a week, during which childcare is provided. Licensed professionals teach concepts such as life skills, budgeting, time management, interviewing skills, emotional health, boundaries with people, and how to identify safe people to befriend.

One of the weekly opportunities is a Bible exploration class.

“We don’t require anybody to be a Christian to be here,” clarified Barnard. “This is meant to be the balance that helps prepare for a successful life. Part of that spiritual aspect is really about hope and about a moral north, a good direction to head into.

“We encourage them to go to a church, but we don’t dictate which one they need to go to. Not just for the faith aspects, but the community and the networking and the support you get from a church family. We know if they are not surrounded by people that will mentor them and walk along side them, then the chances of them being able to make it on their own lessen.”

Setting goals

On the second level of the shelter, the facility allows for five families to each have a private bedroom and bathroom area and a communal kitchen. Five more women have a similar arrangement on the lower level. A large shared living room with couches, a television, and a piano is also on the first floor.

Each week women set individual goals with the program manager, Cherilyn Horning, to receive one-on-one help with the issues that are keeping them from providing for themselves. One hour a week they meet with the licensed therapist, Judy Johnson, to delve into the next level of how they landed in their position and how to break free from that cycle.

“We are not just putting a band-aid on something,” said Barnard. “We are really trying to fix the core of the problem so that they don’t keep coming back into the system.”

Feeling ready to venture back out into the world, Misty Davis was scheduled to graduate on Oct. 31, but felt comfortable knowing that if she needed a few extra days to get paperwork in place, they would be granted.

“It’s like a second family here,” she said. “It’s a big, huge support network and even after I leave I know they’ll still be here for me. I’ll have the after-care program and will be able to talk with (staff members) and will still have therapy once a week and they help you keep your life on track.”

Landing at Dove Harbor due to homelessness, Davis has not only been able to save money by working two jobs, but has been guided through the application process for homeless assistance that is currently offered.

“While I’ve been living here I’ve learned to do things on my own,” she said. “They always follow up with you to make sure you are being held accountable. It’s extra support and back up to guide you through it.”

So thankful is Young-Boyd that she plans to help others.

“I plan on donating a lot of time to this place,” she said. “I want to help them out any way I can. God set me free from abuse and drugs and gave me a second chance at life. And I’m going to make the best of it.”

“I can’t speak highly enough of this place,” agreed Davis. “I’ve had a very positive and life-changing experience here. If I hadn’t been through this I wouldn’t have this positive outlook.”