ANDERSON — Before young Deacon Reinhard was born in Anderson, his future adoptive parents spent time with his birth mother.
In fact, the Reinhards still share updates about Deacon, now 2. The birth parents, both middle-aged, have even visited the Reinhards at their home near Fort Wayne.
“It was pretty amazing,” said Jane Reinhard, 25. “Our family just embraced them and loves them. We consider them part of the family.”
About three years ago, the Reinhards met with the Florida birth mother. Through an intermediary known as the Miriam Project, the birth couple received a scrapbook about the Reinhards before choosing them as the couple to raise Deacon.
The relationship is far different from adoptions decades ago where adoptive parents avoided birth parents. Indeed, some children never knew of their adopted status.
“We believe God didn’t just place these boys into our home but God placed their families into our homes as well,” said Michael Reinhard, a 31-year-old man who works in accounts payable for a utility equipment rental company.
He and his wife, Jane, have adopted two sons including Finn, born in Community Hospital Anderson. The family recently took the stage at Madison Park Church of God to discuss the Miriam Project, which is a ministry of the south side Anderson congregation.
However, the Reinhards, and most who work through Miriam Project, an Anderson adoption service, do not typically share last names with birth parents. They’ve agreed to provide their last name for this article.
Meetings between adoptive and birth families before a birth are becoming more common.
“We allow birth mothers, if they want to, to even select the family. They can do that through various avenues,” said Brooke Mathis, case worker for the Miriam Project.
Miriam Project is the only licensed adoption agency with a home office in Madison County. The project helps place children locally, and through a network, internationally.
Generally, a family seeking adoption can expect to spend $12,000, said Doug Linvillle, director of Miriam Project. That cost is determined on a family’s ability to pay and includes a placement fee and funds to cover the birth mother’s medical expenses, among others.
Linville said the project helps answers concerns from both adoptive and birth parents.
“They’re scared of the unknowns,” said Linville. “We talk them through that. We get all the medical history and background history we can on a family so they know situation they’re stepping into before they’re committed.
He added, “We think it’s healthy for the child to have knowledge of the birth family.”
Parents seeking to adopt commonly prepare a profile of their family that is given to the birth mother.
“Some birth mothers have specific ideas, like a family with no children or one with children. They might live in the county or a city. And birth mothers can conduct interviews with prospective adoptive families.
“We want them to come to terms with this ... provide a snapshot of what life will be like for the child,” said Mathis.
National Adoption Month
November is National Adoption Month and the Miriam Project made presentations during services at Madison Park Church of God, 6607 Providence Drive, in hopes of raising awareness for its faith-based placement service. Organizers can be reached at 640-1580.
The Reinhards did their part by noting how open they and Deacon’s birth parents have been. On Nov. 21, they stood with Linville in front of the Madison Park congregation. As a Biblical reference, Linville cited James 1:27: “Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world.”
The Reinhards, married seven years, met at a church near Bluffton. They have already started to read children’s books about adoption to Deacon.
However, the open approach hasn’t been as easy with Finn, who is now 14 months old, they said. They were able to meet the birth mother in Community Hospital Anderson on the day she gave birth.
“We definitely let her know that it was our heart’s desire to have an open relationship with her,” said Jane Reinhard. “But we said we would also understand, as much as we could, that if it was painful for her, we would respect that.”
To contact the birth mother, the Reinhards ask the Miriam Project to serve an intermediary.
The Reinhards are also in the process of their third adoption. Jane Reinhard said, “It’s definitely our heart’s desire to have a large family.”
Contact Scott L. Miley, 648-4230, scott.miley@heraldbulletin.com
