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February 9, 2010

Quintin Harlan: Offering very little solace

A checklist to tell if your significant Colts fan may need help

The New Orleans Saints beat the Indianapolis Colts in Super Bowl XLIV.

For some out there, the previous sentence isn’t settling in too well. We all know people who love to live in denial. So here’s a checklist to tell if your significant Colts fan may need help.

And all apologies to Mr. David Letterman.

From the Home Office at 1133 Jackson St., the Top Ten Signs your Colts fan may not be accepting the Super Bowl loss to the Saints any time soon.

No. 10: When Drew Brees’ name is mentioned, thinks Brees is still starting for Purdue and can in no way, shape or form cause any damage to the Colts’ chances of winning.

No. 9: Soup of the day: Gumbo. Reaction: curls up in the fetal position, muttering something about breaded tenderloins.

No. 8: Wants to get interceptions banned from NFL games. The logic being the idea that the league will pass any rule to help the offense and hurt the defense.

No. 7: Upon failing to get interceptions banned from NFL games, proceeds to attempt to lobby that all onside kicks must be announced prior to being kicked over the public address system, on the blimp over the stadium and on the Jumbotron.

No. 6: Wants script approval prior to the start of any game ... Sorry that one is for the NBA.

No. 5: The colors black and gold suddenly cause more than just Indiana Hoosiers fans to break out in hives.

No. 4: Wants to move on and get over it with basketball. Then the realization of the state of basketball in Indiana sets in. They can’t bring themselves to root for Purdue (see No. 5).

No. 3: Wonders aloud “Where’s Captain Comeback Jim Harbaugh when we needed him?” Seriously, if someone actually says this, even in jest (besides me), invest in a rubber room for this person.

No. 2: Keeps the calendar on the date Sunday, Feb. 7, 2010, and the time at 6:25 p.m. on all clocks and time pieces for one year hoping that things will change to the desired outcome.

And the No. 1 sign that your Colts fan won’t be accepting the Super Bowl loss to the Saints anytime soon is ...

They decide to just make every day Sunday, Feb. 3, 2007, until further notice. Also that Devin Hester returning the opening kickoff of Super Bowl XLI never happened.

Never mind that ignorance is bliss. There will be a season in 2010. As for 2011, that’s up in the air since the league and the NFL Players Association are at odds on a new collective bargaining agreement.

Nobody wants to see their team go out with a loss in the biggest game there is.

The Colts didn’t get the job done this year. The Saints played better and won, period.

We’ve seen them get knocked down. Now we’ll see if they can get back up.

Contact Quintin Harlan: 640-4835, quintin.harlan@heraldbulletin.com.

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