By Wade Coggeshall
CNHI
PLAINFIELD — Rita Fiorentino remembers Becky Alexander having the most beautiful smile. Even up until the day she died.
Alexander came to Fiorentino dying of lung cancer. Fiorentino swore Alexander was at death's door when she arrived, but she lived another three and a half months.
"She was in a lot of pain and had to take a lot of medications," Fiorentino said. "But she had this smile that just lit up a room. She was a beautiful person."
People like Alexander - some 40 altogether - are whom Fiorentino has met since opening The Gathering Together. It's not a hospice, but a place where the terminally ill can come to die with dignity.
Fiorentino runs The Gathering Together out of her Victorian home on Center Street, built in 1850. Originally from San Francisco, she was visiting a friend in Mooresville when her nephew was getting married in St. Louis. That weekend during a church service, she said she felt God say to her, "Come home. This is where I want you. This is home for you now."
The next day Fiorentino contacted a Realtor and bought this house. That was the summer of 2001. She's come to love Plainfield.
"People who are from Plainfield tend to stay here." Fiorentino said. "It's a great little community."
She's a hospice nurse by trade. Her mother, now deceased, suffered a heart attack in 1989. She was in a hospital for two months because of numerous complications related to her treatment.
"I just thought I could do a little better than this," said Fiorentino, who before nursing sold real estate and did staging and party design.
While studying to become a nurse, Fiorentino worked at a hospice and found she was comfortable in such a setting.
"I liked that it's hands-on, being able to spend as much time as you need to to be with a patient," she said. "And also being able to address their spiritual and emotional needs, not just lab results. I like the personal contact."
During her time there, she also saw a need for a place like The Gathering Together. The terminally ill generally want to be surrounded by loved ones in their final days. Environments such as nursing facilities and hospitals are stringent about who can visit patients, how many can be there at a time, and for how long. Fiorentino lets whoever stay in her house for as long as they need at no cost. That has amazed many of the people who have used The Gathering Together.
"Rita opens her home to the patient, the family, friends of the patient," said Georgia Jones, who worked with Becky Alexander at Gleaner's and visited her at The Gathering Together. "It is such a wonderful, peaceful atmosphere."
Laura Kurkowski's sister and mother both spent their final days there.
"Just crossing the door from the porch into the house was an instant feeling of peacefulness," Kurkowski said. "It's kind of like an oasis in what is a very difficult time."
Indeed, Fiorentino has shaped her home to be a place where patients can feel at peace and loved ones are comfortable visiting or staying with them. Aside from the hospice room there's two guest bedrooms and a bathroom. The furnishings - everything from the rugs to the couch cushions - are soft and inviting. The colors range from a cozy yellow to pastels. Much of the house is decorated with paintings made by Fiorentino's sister. Even the backyard, a jungle when Fiorentino bought the property, is now beautifully landscaped and replete with a flat stone patio.
The concept has worked. Over time, word of mouth has led many families to use The Gathering Together, including Becky Alexander.
"It was a good and peaceful experience for her," Jones said of her friend and co-worker. "She had her family with her all the time, which was a comfort for her. And Rita becomes an extended part of the family."
That's the part that has struck Fiorentino the most, that people would allow her into their lives at a time like that.
"I welcome them into my house, but they're willing to be here with a stranger and welcome me into their inner circle at a time that's so important," she said. "I've made beautiful friends from doing what I do."
There was the college professor resigned to hospice care. A former Tuskegee Airman in World War II, he had no family to care for him except a sister who was in her 90s. He brought his little dog and lived his last week and a half at The Gathering Together.
"He was such a sweet man," Fiorentino said. "We had a great rapport."
There also was the man who wanted to live long enough to see his son graduate high school. He came to The Gathering Together and used every treatment available to stay alive. By the end of April that year, everyone knew he wasn't going to make it another month. So the principal of Cascade High School brought a recording of "Pomp and Circumstance" and the man's son wore his cap and gown and received his diploma during a special ceremony at the house. They even had a reception for him afterwards. The man died the next day. A memorial service for him a week later drew 100 people.
Fiorentino has come to learn how much such expressions of love mean to the families.
"I'm thinking of the patient dying with dignity and being comfortable, but the families are telling me now that's a part of it, that what I do for them is a huge part of it," she said.
Some who have experienced The Gathering Together have formed a board of directors for it, to find revenue sources other than Fiorentino. She has an open house every December that serves as a fundraiser, where Fiorentino and her sister sell arts and crafts they've made. But as word has spread about the home, that's proven to not be enough.
Having a place like The Gathering Together can't be easy. As a Christian, Fiorentino uses her belief in salvation and the afterlife to cope with what she experiences.
"I focus on helping people have a good death," she said.
She wishes she could explain how she deals with quietus so often.
"I think what happens is then the next person comes along and you just move on," Fiorentino said.
She says she isn't afraid of dying either. Witnessing families come together at times of bereavement and doing everything from holding hands and praying to singing hymns together has convinced her that there's nothing to fear.
"I hope if I ever get sick, I'm able to handle it as gracefully as these people that I serve," Fiorentino said. "It's just amazing to me."
For more information on The Gathering Together, visit the website at www.thegatheringtogether.org.
wade.coggeshall@flyergroup.com
